


To the Lake, With Love

by Charlie_fell



Category: Frankenstein - Mary Shelley
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Basically just a scene from my self indulgent au, Internalized Homophobia, Love Confessions, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:47:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23158780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie_fell/pseuds/Charlie_fell
Summary: Victor arrived in London alongside Captain Walton and the creature only a few years ago. Many obstacles have been overcome since their arrival, yet after a day out on the town and a visit to the lake nearby, it comes time for Walton to face his biggest obstacle yet.
Relationships: Victor Frankenstein/Robert Walton
Comments: 6
Kudos: 36





	To the Lake, With Love

**Author's Note:**

> I'm fairly amateur when it comes to writing, but I tried my best for this one! It takes place in an au I've put together- I'll need to put together a synopsis of it later if it's not well understood from context clues in this fic.

Walton shifted awkwardly in his seat as Victor gazed into the water around them that so vividly reflected the starry sky. Despite their peaceful surroundings, however, the young Englishman was riddled with an unspoken anxiety. All day, he had put the daunting task he was faced with off. Though no one had forced his hand, he knew it had to be done.

That morning had brought about a whirlwind of events and overwhelming emotions. Hands that rested too close to each other on the breakfast table. Touches that lingered seconds longer than they should have.

Margaret had stopped him at the door before he left the house with his companion. Her strong brow showed concern, yet her eyes silently gifted him a wish of good luck. She knew what would have to happen today, she had felt it. It had been months since Walton had trusted her with his inner thoughts and feelings concerning the once-stranger, and as much as it initially shocked her, she had come to accept it, only wanting to see her dear brother happy.

After an extended visit to the marketplace, and a day full of enjoyment, the sun had begun to lower in the horizon. Walton had nonchalantly brought up spending time at the lake as they so often did together before heading home; a suggestion Victor quickly took a liking to.

The lantern Walton held lit up the worn dirt path in front of the pair. They had made this venture through the woods to the lake many times– enough for the darkness to not affect the confidence in their steps. Yet, Walton's mind was elsewhere tonight, and he had stumbled every now and again as a result.

This lake had been a place of comfort for Walton ever since he could remember. He and Margaret had stumbled upon it in their early years, and it had been a secret they shared; a place to come home to when they had nowhere else to go. But in the first months after the arrival of Victor and his creation, to whom Margaret had dubbed the name of 'Adam,' Walton had gifted its secret to his closest companion as well.

As they had entered the clearing, Walton's chest tightened. The gentle tug of his sleeve that he felt temporarily stirred him from his thoughts of whether this would be his ruin. The smaller, thin man that stood beside him looked upon him with contentment. Anywhere else, the shadow of a scowl found its way to his thin face, but here, an air of calmness was always about him.

While they walked to the old, wooden boat that had faithfully floated by the small dock Walton fashioned all those years ago, he found himself hesitate with every passing breath. His ruin had come, and as he rowed out to the center of the lake, he felt deep in his heart it was time to seal his fate, whether he wanted it or not.

It was time.

By degrees, Victor's gaze lifted from the waters that held their small boat, and gradually fell upon his friend, whose heart quickly found it's way into his throat at the expectant eyes. His usual lighthearted, warm expression had faded and revealed much more of a grimace, along with heavily furrowed brows.

"Is everything alright?" Victor's voice trembled slightly in subdued panic as he questioned the man. It was rare that Walton would appear anything but collected with his emotions, and the sudden air of unease around the man in front of him was greatly unsettling.

Walton remained silent. He wanted to speak, but not a muscle in his face could move, and his jaw refused to open to let the words escape him.

"Have I done something wrong?"

The silence ensued.

"Robert…? Please, you're worrying me. What have I done wrong?"

Walton shook his head ever so slightly, paralyzed with fear. Never had he felt so scared. Not even when Adam, who had formerly been thought of as a monster, had shown up on the ship in the arctic had he been this terrified.

"No." Finally, he had spoken. He knew, however, that this wouldn't be the hard part. "You have done nothing wrong."

"Then what could be the issue?"

"I'm… unsure if I should say."

"Of course you should. Please, tell me what bothers you. There's no need to worry about hurting me by letting me know what I'm at fault for, if I really did do anything to upset you."

"Victor…" The pit in his stomach only grew, he felt as if he could vomit.

"You can tell me anything, I promise."

But could he? He wasn't sure. He continued to cower from his companion's insistent questions, shrinking more and more into his seat as the seconds ticked by.

"You'll hate me."

Walton's loud, boisterous voice had become barely even a whisper, and Victor had never been more unnerved by something in his life. The weight of the situation seemed to grow with every sentence spoken.

"I could never hate you, Robert. Never. Nothing you could ever say to me could make me hate you." Instinctively, as Walton had often done when trying to calm Victor's nerves, Victor gently placed his thin hands over Walton's, and awkwardly tried to hold them. To his surprise, however, the Englishman's hands jerked away violently. Victor's eyes widened as he quickly returned his hands to where they had rested on his lap. "I apologize! That was out of line."

As the two continued to sit in prolonged, uneasy silence, he desperately wracked his brain in an attempt to think of what he might have done to upset Walton so greatly. Had anything gone awry at home earlier in the week? No, that couldn't be it. Home life had been especially nice as of late. But- Victor had been working late nights at the tailor's shop throughout the week and had been away from the household as a result of it… could today have been Walton's last effort to try and put up with him? To see if he was still worthy to stay around? Could this be Walton's way of saying that he had enjoyed life without him? That it had been easier on his own? Would there even be a house to come home to after Walton said what needed to be said? Victor's heart sunk more with every self-accusatory thought.

"If it truly is that you find my company tiresome, I don't mind. I understand that it's likely for me to have done something wrong that upset you," Victor spoke, his voice becoming a much softer whisper as well. "I apologize for making you put up with whatever issue it is for so long." He lowered his head, ready to accept the heartbreaking news he had convinced himself was true.

Across from him, Walton sat in astonishment and anger directed completely towards himself. His inner turmoil had already come to a head, and seeing his actions had turned his own, dear Victor against himself was the breaking point. Suddenly, he covered his face with his hands and let out a frustrated, guttural sound before loudly bursting into tears.

Victor's blood immediately ran cold. He had never seen his friend behave in such a manner, and it terrified him.

"Stop saying that, you have done absolutely nothing wrong!! It's not you! It could never be!" Walton agonizingly screamed, his voice slightly muffled through his hands. "It's me! _I'm_ wrong!"

The man's hands moved from over his eyes to his forehead, then the top of his head as he bent over and tried to hug his knees, but it was an impossible feat in the tiny boat they sat in. He wished he had never spoken. That he had never had the idea to visit the lake. Never let himself be so stupid as to believe a man as wonderful as the one in front of him would be anything but disgusted at the love he felt for him.

"What do you mean?!" Victor's voice rattled him from his cowering position, and he lifted his head, only to see his companion's eyes filling with tears as well. "You need to tell me what's wrong, Robert, you're scaring me!"

"I _can't_ , Victor!"

"You _need_ to! Please!"

Walton flinched as Victor's shaky hands once again found their way over his. He was persistent in trying to comfort his friend in some way, despite not knowing how deeply it affected him. If only Victor knew. He would never want to even touch his hands ever again, much less look at him.

"Why are you making this so difficult?" Walton hoarsely begged.

"I don't even know what I'm doing! You've never behaved this way, you never hesitate to tell me what ails you- what makes _this_ so hard?! Why can you not just say something?! Anything!!"

"Because I'm in love with you, Victor!"

Victor's tear-stained eyes shot open in alarm, and his hands drew back ever so slightly. He did not speak. With both raised voices now hushed completely, a silence settled once more upon the clearing. Yet this silence was deafening. Walton wished he could put the words back in his mouth. More than anything. The shock on the other man's face only encouraged the notion of flinging himself off of the boat and into the water, never to be seen again.

"...what?" The eyes of his friend were glued on him in what appeared to be repulsion.

"Wait, I… I didn't mean…."

But it was too late to take anything back now, and Walton knew it. He breathed in deeply, trying to quell the tears that fell heavily out of his eyes, but failed to.

"I'm so sorry," he murmured.

"I… don't understand."

"Don't say that."

"Robert… I…."

Walton's heart felt as if it were splitting in two. The pit in his stomach had become all-consuming. He had already prepared himself for the events to come once he was asked to return the boat to the shore. He would leave everything behind- leaving the man he loved all of his belongings and with the responsibility of telling both Margaret and Adam what had happened to him. Margaret would be devastated, but surely it couldn't come as a surprise to her, he figured. She had known all along how shameful his feelings were, what news was this?

"Tell me you never want to see me again," Walton lamented. "Tell me you find me sickening. That you hate me. Don't spare any expense. I know what I feel is wrong, and I disgust myself. I only need to hear it from you."

"I don't hate you."

"Stop it, Victor! Yes, you do! You should!" His tears now blurred his vision, and his frustration grew. Victor never meant to hurt a soul, he knew that; not even the soul of a man who had feelings that could do nothing but appall him. Only this time, this man couldn't stand having his feelings spared. "Stop entertaining such a terrible thing, and tell me how much of a deplorable, foolish wretch I am!"

But now, it was Walton's turn to be thrown into a state of shock. He felt a light weight fall on top of his shoulders; it was something he quickly came to realize was the weight of Victor's hands that now rested there, ever so gently. Walton found that his companion's previously unreadable expression had become more clear. Was it not repulsion that he had seen only minutes before?

"I don't hate you," Victor repeated, more firmly this time. No matter how many tears were strewn down his face, his voice sounded strong. "If you are a wretch, then so am I."

"Why not?! And how could you ever be! You know as well as I that you are _perfect_ , Victor. Don't say such absurdities."

"I'm telling you the truth."

"How could you be?"

"Because. I feel the same for you."

"What are you… talking about…?"

"I love you, Robert."

Nervously, the smaller man watched his companion freeze up completely, whose eyes were clouded with uncertainty as he tried to comprehend what he had just been told. Victor's hands still lightly rested on Walton's shoulders, until finally, with a shaky and hesitant breath, Walton took hold of them and brought them down to chest level. Slowly, cautiously, their fingers closed over each other's, and palm to palm, they held their hands, slightly suspended in the air.

"Promise me," Walton uttered, his voice still wavering and unsure, "promise me that this is the truth."

"I could never lie to you."

"I can't lose you."

"You won't."

Victor turned a shade redder as their hands separated and, rather than return them back to his sides, Walton brought his hands up to the sides of Victor's face instead. They felt soft against his sharp cheekbones. He closed his eyes, and with a deep breath, brought his companion's arms- and in turn, his entire self- even closer. When he opened them again, he saw Walton's expression dull, who was finally relaxing his tense posture. Both were exhausted, psychically and emotionally. But Walton's eyes, half-lidded, stayed on Victor's.

The quietness of the clearing remained constant, yet was no longer deafening, as Victor listened to the water that surrounded them lap gently at the sides of the boat.

"Victor?"

"Yes?"

"Will you let me kiss you?"

The smaller man, cheeks still cupped, felt his voice fail him, and his face only grew warmer. One of the hands that held his face slipped only barely behind his head, cradling him, and drawing him closer.

"Please, let me kiss you."

Their faces only lingered inches away from each other's, then millimeters, until Walton closed the gap, pressing his lips tenderly against Victor's. A rush of heat flooded his face as the back of his shirt was taken ahold of by the other man's slender hands. Victor's lips were soft, and brushed against his with a gentleness like no other. The hand that still rested on Victor's cheek now dropped to the upper half of his back, and brought their chests closer. As if he were something fragile, Walton held the man he so dearly loved in his arms as carefully as he could. He did not want to break him. The boat swayed underneath them at the movement. Walton felt a smile tug at the sides of his mouth as Victor made a small noise into the kiss, and as if everything hit him at once, tears once again flowed freely from his eyes.

The two broke away from each other, yet their faces still stayed close by. Victor was the first to break into a sudden fit of laughter, Walton following soon after. Their cheeks were rosy pink and filled with life, taking in each moment they could. Although neither had recovered from the tears that stained their flushed faces, it seemed meaningless to them. All that mattered was eachother now.

"I want to stay like this forever, here, with you," Walton breathed, as he brushed a strand of gray hair away from Victor's eyes, pushing it behind his ear. "I'd never want for anything more."

"Neither would I." Victor leaned forward and only briefly allowed their lips to meet once more before he pulled back, just far enough so that he could speak. Their foreheads rested lightly against each other. "Why did you not tell me sooner?"

"Losing you, repulsing you in some way… I couldn't bring myself to say a word to you about how I felt."

"I had the same fears, I suppose."

"But we'll be okay?"

"Yes. Oh yes, Robert." A reassuring smile found its way to Victor's mouth, a genuine smile, something rare to appear. "We will be."

Walton's hand brushed against Victor's leg and rested there. He yearned for any contact that could be made between the two. For too long had he denied himself of showing affection, and now, he cared for nothing but doing so.

"It was on the ship, that I realized," he started. "I found myself spending every waking minute with you in that cabin, and I didn't know why. It was foolish of me to ignore my duties, yet I couldn't help but stay by your side."

"I always wished you'd never leave me there alone. I encouraged you to tend to what needed to be done, yes, but I hated whenever you left that room."

"I should have never left you."

"But you always came back."

The moon was high in the sky now, and brightly shone down on the man in front of him. The man he had spent years beside, and every one of those years had been another moment he loved him. He might have saved Victor's life in the arctic all that time ago, but in turn, Victor had saved his, even if he hadn't meant to.

"And I promise I'll never leave you again, my dearest Victor."


End file.
